Dreams.

2What is a dream and how do we chase them?

Are they just thoughts, images and sensations that occur while we sleep? Or are they a reality that we spend our lifetime trying to achieve?

Ive been away from the blogging scene for a good few months now. Why? I wish I had an answer. Recently I’ve felt like the world is spinning so fast, my legs can’t keep up. When I look around at other people my age; everyone seems to be on their chosen path. But me… I feel like I’m living in limbo, not sure which direction to take. Is that the case? Or do the majority of people in their twenties feel this way and we’re all just extremely good at putting on a brave face.

Dreams and aspirations are a funny thing really. That saying “you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” How true is that? Surely, if it were that simple we would all be floating on our yachts in the South of France, living in our New York Penthouses, holidaying in the Caribbean 3 times a year… But we’re not.

I only have one dream. And it’s not to own all of the above, it’s not to be swimming in £50 notes, it’s to be able to do what I love every single day. I want to act. When I was younger when people used to say to me “What will you be when your older?” I had one simple answer for them… “Famous.” Looking back I wish I still had that confidence; not because I actually want to be famous but I genuinely believed I could be whoever I wanted to be.

Now I go to work every day to a job that I like but don’t love and I watch opportunities run past me. Why? Honestly… I’m scared. I don’t know why but in the last year and a half I have let so many doubts eat at my mind and I’ve been trying so hard to convince myself that I want normality, I want a “normal” job, I want a “normal” income, I want a “normal” life. But in all honesty, there is nothing “normal” about what I want. I miss the dog eat dog world of auditions, I miss learning lines, I miss that anxious feeling you get whilst you wait to hear the verdict, I miss how much fight and determination everyone that you meet has oozing out of them, I miss that sense of achievement after you get the “you got the job” phone call. I miss acting. Full stop.

Dont get me wrong, I have been so lucky. I have managed to still be in the acting game whilst at my “normal” job. And I have seriously loved every production I have been in.  *Cough* Come and watch Rita, Sue & Bob Too in April 2017 *Cough*. But I’m ready for the full-time acting world again, it’s the only thing I’ve ever found that truly makes me happy every single day.

So watch this space… I’m going to be “famous.”

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