The first few months of the year are always the busiest time at the gym. Full of people trying to shift that inevitable extra bit of wobble from all the food and alcohol consumption over the festive period. I, myself, have that extra bit of wobble that I’d prefer not to have so I go to bed every night full of motivation to diet and exercise but wake up in the morning and somehow I’ve forgotten that those thoughts ever even crossed my mind.
However, on those odd occasions that the thought of going to the gym doesn’t make me feel slightly nauseated, I like to throw on some leggings and a sports bra (just so I look like I know what I’m doing) and make a beeline for the treadmill. Then whilst I’m attempting to run and not look like I’m about to pass out I have a good old people watch… just to take my mind off the fact that, yes, I may actually be about to pass out.
(For the record… please don’t take my advice. Running until you’re about to pass out never has and never will be a clever idea.)
I have become quite the talented people watcher over time; a skill I am certain I learnt from my mother. With this, I have come to notice that there are some very distinct types of people that visit the gym… so here they are.
The Beauty Queen
Yes. We all know who I’m talking about. The debate on whether they actually work out or not is still very much open for discussion.
They arrive at the gym perfectly manicured, hair will usually be in a “messy bun” that they’ve just spent a good 20 minutes on but swear they just “threw it up” and their face will be fit for a night on the town.
Wherever possible they will be reading a magazine, preferably Cosmo. Because what could possibly be better than loosing weight AND learning the 327 best ways to please your significant other in the bedroom?
The Do You Even Lift Bro.
Its bicep day every day for these guys. If an exercise involves any muscle above the equator they’ll be doing it, usually saying “spot me, bro” to their equally top heavy friend.
You can usually find them in the squat rack doing no squats but admiring their physique in the mirror. Leg day never happens for these fellas because apparently girls don’t care about legs, hence “Curls for Gurls”.
The end result – A perfectly triangular upper body and spindly legs who are one good nudge away from tumbling over.
The Couples that Sweat together, stay together.
#CoupleGoals. You’ll usually find the boyfriend bench pressing his extremely petite girlfriend. And you’ll find the girlfriend with her legs wrapped around the boyfriends waist doing crunches. Maybe I’m just bitter and jealous but does she seriously have to kiss him every time she crunches up to his face. Bleugh. Then they’ll both end the workout with a high protein, super fruit, super food, vegan friendly, muscle building, smoothie she’s made in her nutri-blender this morning.
I wish I could laugh and say that The Newbie is purely an observation… but I’ve definitely been The Newbie.
They sign up for their gym membership with great intentions and high motivation but when they take their first step through the doors they suddenly realise they have no clue.
This means you’ll find them aimlessly walking around the machines, picking out a few that have nothing to do with each other and using them completely wrong. This is when they usually resign to the treadmill or bike. Their go-to “I know what I’m doing” work out.
Now these guys put us all to shame. Even the “Do You Even Lift Bro’s”. These fitness gurus may be on their way to retirement but they certainly won’t be cancelling their gym memberships.
The woman is usually on the mats performing push up handstands whilst the man is curling more than any of us could squat. They then bond over their best marathon times and plan to run the next one together.
They might be going grey but holy hell they could kick our 20 year olds butts!!
So there we have it – my gym observations. Even if nothing else, at least I got a new blog post from going to the gym. It does have its plus points I suppose.